The Real Housewives of Haddonfield are more than up to tipping a table or two if it means ridding the town of Michael Myers.
Haunting Haddonfield women for decades, the Halloween killer has now managed to escape a burning basement and is more than ready to cut a swath through town.
In “Halloween Kills,” an angry mob (which includes Kyle Richards, a kid in the original film and now a member of the “Real Housewives of Beverly Hills”) decides to hunt him down and end the trauma. Leading the charge: Tommy Doyle (Anthony Michael Hall), a fuming good ol’ boy who gets others to fall in line.
Myers, however, isn’t an easy mark.
He heads back to his family home, turns two residents into a charcuterie board and preys on folks in cars, on foot and at the hospital.
There, Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis), the babysitter he first taunted, is in a hospital bed trying to survive injuries sustained when she trapped Myers in her burning home. Wisely, she believes he’s coming to get her.
As directed by David Gordon Green, “Halloween Kills” is more of a bloodbath than a revenge-based thriller. Residents do everything you shouldn’t when a killer is loose and don’t even think about concocting a plan that could actually work.
Leave the doors open? Check. Turn the lights off? Check. Avoid calling authorities? Check.
Like townspeople in “Frankenstein,” the residents of “Halloween Kills” let their children run loose, even though this might be a good time to stay home and hide in the attic.
Myers, meanwhile, escapes anything they can throw at him.
Part of a trilogy, “Halloween Kills” picked up where the 2018 “Halloween” left off. Traumatized, Strode devised a way to lure Myers to her home, trap him in the basement and send him packing. Unfortunately, he got out (don’t ask) and lives another Halloween day.
Curtis is a bit too overwrought (considering she’s drugged throughout much of the film), Richards is playing this like she’s in a soap opera and Hall is so one-note you won’t remember he once was part of “The Breakfast Club.”
Back when Curtis was just an impressionable baby sitter, the “Halloween” films trafficked in thrills, not kills. Now, the trilogy has other goals in mind.
There’s a slight Jordan Peele feel to the story (particularly when the mob doesn’t bother with explanations) but it’s not as smart or as stylish.
This, instead, goes for the jugular – literally – but settles for the damage a fluorescent light bulb can do.